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Old 08-01-2010, 02:30 PM   #1
Ines85
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Default 4 dates no kiss...

Hello everyone

Ok so I am dating this guy for a month now and every date goes really well. We met about 2 month ago on that dating site. I am not on there anymore as most guys were pretty weird on there. So I have been out yesterday with him and it was great. We did walk arm in arm and holding hands after the cinema but he never makes any moves to kiss me. He lives 1 hrs drive away and pays for everything, is a gentleman but seems very reserved. I also saw him today active on the dating site as my flatmate is on there too. I was shocked when she told me that he is on there quite often.
So now I am wondering if he is seeing another girl or not. I am 25 and he is 28 years old.
Think I have to ask him next week if I am the only one that he is dating. He told me on the first date that he is looking for his future wife and that he would like to have kids.. I really like him a lot.

Thanks everyone.
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Old 08-01-2010, 03:15 PM   #2
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

I actually just dealt with a guy like this and we dated for a couple months. He wasn't quite as reserved, but he said he wanted to be with someone for the long run and was quitting the dating site. Obviously we're not together anymore because he wasn't who he said he was. In my opinion, the guy your into doesn't know what he wants as far as a relationship and he's not worth it. If a guy is really into you, he's gonna want a makeout session as soon as he sees you, but may at least reserve it for a second date, not four dates later.

Hope this helps,
Been there!
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Old 08-01-2010, 05:07 PM   #3
browolf
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

it barely counts as "dating" if even can't escalate to kissing you after 2 months. Maybe he is hedging his bets on staying active on the dating site. Maybe he's looking for a more kiss him first type. Maybe he's hoping you will. You really need to ask yourself if this reserved type guy is really what you want....
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Old 08-01-2010, 05:51 PM   #4
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

I would try to give him some body language cues for a kiss.

I can not find a great website about it but here is this one
http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article...-Please/373968

and if that does not work go in flirty seduction-y voice "You know you could kiss me goodnight" when the date is over or something like that there are a lot of guy that are shy to that stuff me being one lol

And to the part where he is on the dating site still just play it off like "I was just deleting my old profile and noticed your was online." or something like that

and if I did not help at all at least you get my good luck lol
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Old 08-02-2010, 03:29 PM   #5
Ines85
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

Quote:
Originally Posted by browolf View Post
it barely counts as "dating" if even can't escalate to kissing you after 2 months. Maybe he is hedging his bets on staying active on the dating site. Maybe he's looking for a more kiss him first type. Maybe he's hoping you will. You really need to ask yourself if this reserved type guy is really what you want....
Well we haven't been dating for 2 months!! We sent each other emails for about a month or so before we met..so we only went on 4 dates so far..but still.
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Old 08-02-2010, 03:32 PM   #6
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

Quote:
Originally Posted by DJAMESB View Post
I would try to give him some body language cues for a kiss.

I can not find a great website about it but here is this one
http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article...-Please/373968

and if that does not work go in flirty seduction-y voice "You know you could kiss me goodnight" when the date is over or something like that there are a lot of guy that are shy to that stuff me being one lol

And to the part where he is on the dating site still just play it off like "I was just deleting my old profile and noticed your was online." or something like that

and if I did not help at all at least you get my good luck lol

Haha that site is great, thanks I will give it a try, otherwise I just grab him and give him a soft kiss and see what happens..if he really doesn't like me then he will pull away and that's it then.. I don't understand him. He doesn't seem to be that shy but he does seem reserved. I am not very good at just going there and giving him a kiss but I am afraid that if nothing happens soon that he looses interest
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Old 08-02-2010, 04:26 PM   #7
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

You could make a playful suggestion around the theme... like perhaps play a game of pool and suggest that the winner gives the loser a kiss (or vice versa). If he agrees you know there's a green light, and neither of you will be caught unaware or unexpecting.
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Old 08-02-2010, 06:47 PM   #8
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

As a reserved yet not shy kind of guy, this shouldn't be an issue for him and the fact it is, is a bad sign.
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Old 08-02-2010, 10:16 PM   #9
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

I think there is no attraction on his part.
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Old 08-02-2010, 10:34 PM   #10
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

Your not that sure of how he really feels for you. It could be he doesn't wanted that much to get attached to anyone as of the moment as you have said he is very reserve and is looking for a real time partner. You can ask him if your the only one he is dating however that might lead in telling white lies specially if he thinks you are one of the girls his eyeing. I think its best you just continue to date him and get to know him a lot more.
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Old 08-03-2010, 01:52 AM   #11
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

I think there's reserved and then there's 'reserved.' I think if he's still active on the dating site, that's a sign that he's still actively looking for other possibilities. Maybe you should look at it as a plus that he hasn't kissed you yet..you aren't physically involved...so if you do decide that you've had enough, nothing to regret. After two months and no kiss, and also still active on the dating site, I would take that as he's not that content with me. You haven't really lost anything if you choose to keep looking. I would keep my options open as well..he is. Date other guys. Doesn't have to be from online dating, but be open. He might just be making absolutely sure he wants to be with you before he makes a move. He's slow at deciding, I'll give him that, but it could be a polite thing. Keep you're options open, but enjoy the dates you have with him. Doesn't have to be a bad thing. Just don't pin all your hopes of a relationship with him, because he definately a slow starter.
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:02 PM   #12
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

Hello everyone,

so I went on date 5 with him and we went out to a pizza place for dinner and went to the pub for a few drinks afterwards with 2 friends of his. They are a couple and really nice. We got along really well He kissed me after that date!!
I spent the night at a hostel as I traveled 2 hrs by train to meet him at his town and this morning we went on date 6 and it went good as well. We kissed again and did hold hands and so on. But when he brought me to the train station he only quickly hugged me goodbye..no kiss nothing!! He walked quickly back to the car and that's it. He didn't say anything like if we would meet again or that he had a nice time or anything..this was seriously awkward !!!

No idea what happened to him. I texted him later on the train and said thank you for a great weekend and that I had a great time. Nothing came back until an hour later and he said he is glad that I had a good time and that he had a good time as well. And that was all..He simply seemed to be polite.. No idea if I see him again. I just can't seem to figure this guy out. I felt horrible after he walked away from the train station this quickly as I didn't know if he liked me or not. He finally did kiss me but he seemed very distant at the end. It was like that he seemed to be into me yesterday but not today??? Help I just don't get it!!! The problem is that I have feelings for him..I always try not to but at the end I do
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:50 PM   #13
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

I still believe in the theory that guys are like rubberbands, and they tend to get distant at certain times but bounce back...as for why I don't know. And I'm not implying that women can't do the same, btw.

I would tell him that his affection appears warm and cold so I'm a bit confused on where you stand with me at this point. Or just flat out ask, where do you stand with me. At this point in time of dating that wouldn't be inappropriate or weird. In fact it's necessary...and obviously, his response should put you both in whatever direction is next.
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Old 08-07-2010, 05:35 PM   #14
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

It seems like this man likes you enough to spend time with you and introduce you to his friends.

But I guess that doesn't soften the blow that he isn't feeling fireworks. I think you were right to read the hug at the train as a lack of interest. At least you didn't get the dreaded kiss on the forehead.

I think it's time to walk away and move on & not hope that he will suddenly like you. It is so hard to have feelings for someone and not have them reciprocate. But it's important for you not to focus your energy on someone with nothing to give. You end up with heartache and may miss a chance with a guy out there who will like you.

Good luck.
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Old 08-08-2010, 03:58 AM   #15
Ines85
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Default Re: 4 dates no kiss...

Well that is the thing. He introduces me to his friends, holds my hand when we are with them and kisses me finally for the first time. And after that date on Friday he texted me as soon as he walked home. Asked me if I had a good time as he really did and so on..and then suddenly last night at the train it was soo strange. I really had to try not to cry on that train.. I am heartbroken already which is crazy.

He will fly away on the 20th of August for 3 weeks..so I am thinking of sending him an email tonight. Asking him if he wants to spent some time together next week before he goes on his holiday. I am flying home as well for one week and my family comes over in 4 weeks. So we basically wouldn't see each other for one month!!
If he doesn't want to see me before he leaves then it's definitely clear that he doesn't like me that much.
Yes you are right it is really hard falling for someone and not getting much back. Well he is very reserved but still.. maybe he can't make up his mind??
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