Dating Advice Forums

She is sooo HOT, but sooo BORING!

Stratosphere — Thu, 17 May 2012 12:58:04 GMT

This girl I have been "lightly seeing" is the hottest girl I have ever dated. But she is sooooo boring!!...I get very tired talking about politics and I just can't get through to her. Every joke I say is followed with "huh" and "oh", and every "sexual innuendo" I recite is blocked by a "uu huh" or "ok." I am going to see what happens if I stop talking to her, cuz this is frustrating! I think she has been hit on a lot in her life and now she wants people to take her seriously, so she pretty much has no sense of humor anymore!

Ever know a really hot girl (or boy) that is so boring, you just can't take it?

Friend has secret bf after rejecting me..

falconflight — Thu, 17 May 2012 00:48:06 GMT

So My friend and I are 21, in college. We were in this english class for 4-5 months and it just ended yesterday. At first we were just classmates and we were friendly, but then we began talking outside of school (through text or talking on the phone) and I started to kind of like her more then a friend. Well the other night she texts me and says "Was just thinking of you so I'm saying hi." I took that as a very good sign that she may like me. I mean there have been things before like she called me up when she was sick because she doesn't have anyone else to talk to and she said one day how I was the best because I'm always positive. She also always sends me <3's and an emoji icon for kissing or lips. I've caught her before in the corner of my eye looking at me and then looking away.

So I finally figured I'd ask her to do something so I asked her "Hey would you like to go to dinner with me on firday?" She replied "Ummmmm". So I figured that is basically a no and I didn't want her to feel pressured into something she doesn't want so I said "You can say no lol" and then she replied "I just have a guy i'm with idk". Let me tell you I was stunned. In the 4-5 months i've known her she hasn't mentioned a bf. On valentines day she mentioned she had a date, but I barely knew her then to care. So I just replied like "Ohh okay" thinking that was it. She then replied later ":( :( :( What are you doing? Don't hate me". I genuinely care for this girl so I didn't want to be a jerk, so I just told her "Nothing, and I don't hate you". I was pretty upset/mad that she never mentioned she had a bf, because then I would have never asked. So then later on she texts me something random like Clydeeeeee the moon looks so pretty and something about her being a late sleeper. Then she texts me "Goodmorning" and sent me a youtube link to this song by Drake called H.Y.F.R. and she has pretty much been texting me everyday since.

It sucks because I like her and that she has a bf, but I seriously felt that she may of liked me. I don't want to lose her as a friend because we are in the next level of english together this upcoming summer semester (she wanted to take it together again).

So my questions are:

1: Should I be doing anything differently here? Is it okay that I am mad over this?
2: Does it even seem like she liked me at all?
3: Not a question, but any suggestions? Should I text her or let her deal with it?

I'm new to this site so hopefully this goes well :) thanks

Could I have fallen for him in just 2 dates?

latinahereinpa — Wed, 16 May 2012 13:52:10 GMT

**Please excuse the long thread but I wanted to give you all the details about the situation.
I recently signed up at a very popular free dating website. So I met this guy that I've only met and dated twice but can't get him out of my mind! It was magical when we met the first time and it lead to a glorious night, which ended in a very adventurous sexcapade! Our second date was even better, we met for dinner then hung out at a park, walked a very romantic trail until dusk then proceeded to find a spot were we could be intimate again, ending again with another amazing sexcapade episode! Now, after these I didn't hear back from him until I contacted him. Only that I think I messed up bc I saw him being logged in on the site, which made me panic & immediately txt him :( I wanted to see if he would txt me first but couldn't resist to ask him if he was having any luck :( He totally denied being logged on. When I asked him if he was lying to me he told me to never call him a liar again. I tried contacting him 3x after that but only bc I wanted to say I was sorry for questioning him & that I acted insecure and needy & didn't mean to offend him. He wouldn't respond to my txt or calls over that weekend, even though we had plans to hang out on Sat. I then wondered if I had really fallen for him for real or was it all sexual desire? As far as I can tell, I'm starting to have strong feelings for him so I can't tell which is it? :(
I need to add that I hadn't been intimate w/anyone since my last relationship, which ended 4 yrs ago. Also, I'm new to dating, let alone online dating! I was introduced to my one and only ex-partner by a mutual friend, so I'm lost about dating rules/no-nos & lack some common sense in that dept unfortunately :(
Anyway, I decided to txt him a long message on Sat nite telling him I was sorry for questioning him when it wasn't my place to do so & also for behaving in such a clingy way so early since I never heard back from him.
I wasn't expecting a txt back or anything but I do believe in karma so I wanted to liberate myself from any wrong doing on my part. So I was shocked to hear back from him after coming home from work 2 days ago. Granted, all he txt was "hi." I txt him back immediately asking how his day was, he said good & so forth we had some small talk. He didn't mention anything about my message until I asked him if we could talk on the phone. He called me immediately & after greeting him I told him that I had missed talking to him. He said but I'm a liar, why would you miss me? I told him that I knew he wasn't & that I was sorry I called him that & for going crazy in the head over the weekend. He said well thank you for apologizing, don't worry about it, it's in the past, just to not do that again. He then said he missed me too. He said he had just gotten home so he had to get going. I told him so did I. He then said, ok, I guess I'll talk to you later. I took a deep breath & tried not to over-analyze what had just happened again. So I went to the gym and worked it out lol. Then this morning, he txt me good morning baby but I didn't see it until about an hr after. I then txt him good morning how are you? Since then I haven't heard anything back. Now I don't want to think too much of this, he might have gotten busy the rest of the day & it's only Tuesday not like the weekend is around the corner. But do any of you think he could also be trying to blow me off a little - as a way to punish me for accusing him perhaps? Do any of you think he's giving me mix signals just for me to think he's forgiven me when he really hasn't? Do any of you think he might just want to have me close by in case he doesn't find someone else quickly? I can't help it but there's so many different scenarios going on in my mind. Basically, I wanted to ask you, do any of you see the possibility of establishing anything serious with this guy or is he just stringing me along bc he already got some & knows he probably would get more?
Please help! Any advice will be greatly appreciate it!!

The dating basics?

jayjay92 — Wed, 16 May 2012 02:17:34 GMT

First, some background:

I'm an almost twenty-year-old college student, graduating next May. I always focused on school which is why I graduated at 17, and now I'm just stuck in my introverted ways. I don't get out, I don't have a lot of friends, and I'm just unusual. Anyway...

So I've come to a point in my life where I really want to do the "typical" thing. I've grown into myself a hell of a lot to the point that things have changed.

My problem, I believe, currently lies in my social life. I have a set of a few friends, so from time to time I do go out. I don't get it, I run in to guys often enough but I don't ever "meet" guys in the fact that we talk and flirt, or go out.

How does everybody meet so many guys? I have high school friends that have dated more guys than I probably have in friends. I am a senior in college, and there are only two guys in our phase of the education program. Two. One is married, and the other I'm not really sure about. There are no guys at the daycare I work at, and all the guys at the grocery store I work at are way too young. I'm not legally able to go out to drink, which cuts out bars and clubs. I'm not really involved in anything and everybody I know that parties all the time are either high school kids, which I have no desire to be a part of.

Where the hell do you meet guys? I've never had the experience of actually dating, so I guess I'm just awkward in that aspect. I don't know, I would just really like to hear others' experiences.

I'm not trying to be whiny, I'm genuinely confused. I want to get asked out and date, I just don't know how.

How do I fix this and get us going in the right direction for good?

kalookakoo — Tue, 15 May 2012 05:50:54 GMT

So, I went hot&cold on a girl I met in the fall when we both liked each other (and I told her) and she hated me for awhile (or tried to. she was more hurt than anything), but got over me and we became friendly again. She rejected me when I told her my feelings hadn't changed, guess I had let too much time go by.

Fine. Then this semester I treat her like any other not close friend I have, and 3/4 of the semester in, she shows signs of liking me again. 99.9% sure she did. I didn't want to, but my feelings came back for her. At one point (about 2 weeks ago) we were getting along ridiculously well, my feelings were back and even little time I spent with her had me walking on air. We had projects to do one night (separate groups) and we basically looked at each other and smiled all night. The next morning, she came in all happy and showered (she usually doesn't shower that early) but I guess I was kind of distant in comparison to the previous night. I couldn't accept the fact she liked me again, and just kept making excuses for everything she did. Everything almost came together there, but because of my idiocy and hesitancy, it didn't. Bleh.

So 2 nights ago was the last night before she goes back home for the summer and our friends and us went to dinner. (she has left already). We go to a dorming college so we don't live close to each other so I won't see her in person until the fall. tried to get close to her and start a convo, but she was so awkward and stayed away from me. So I just talked to other people and it was obvious she was upset, and one of our friends even asked her what was wrong.

We didn't talk all night. Maybe a smile for hi, nothing more. Took me close to the end of the night just to say hi to her. On the ride back, my friends wanted to take a picture of me for a dumb app on their phone and I kept refusing, so she randomly offered to take it with me...and I don't even remember if I gave her a response. I think I just stared at her because I figured we were just going to not acknowledge the other person the whole night, and of course she chose to sit with this dumb dude she tends to spend the majority of our outings out with (though she has no feelings for him, they just talk a lot, especially since he doesn't really talk much to others in that group, I don't know how he feels about her) and I sat alone. Why the heck if she likes me does she awkwardly avoid me, but seem like she wants to talk?

So, talk about ending things on a lame note. I'm tired of feeling like this over her. I just want to date her, but this so frustrating. Guess no contact between the two of us over the summer is what will happen. I'll see her A LOT starting in the fall since we will live in the same building and have all the same classes.

She probably hates me because she thinks leading her on or something. I am frustrated with her because she refuses to just tell me her feelings have changed outside of those dumb smiles and stares. So now our frustration can fester over the summer, this just sucks...

I want to text/fb message her or something, but one, I don't want to bother her if she's busy or just doesn't want to talk to me, and two, I don't know what to say. I don't know what she thinks, I can't read her.

She's really sweet, but I'm also afraid that if she really is frustrated with me, she'll turn into that same snappy apathetic girl who tried to hate me and her treating me like that just makes me feel horrible...I really love seeing her smile when we see each other in the morning..

After the first date???

louis — Mon, 14 May 2012 16:19:25 GMT

Hi everyone i'm new here,

I asked a girl out from work (we have only spoke on email previously) and once briefly in person.

We met the other day and had what i perceived to be a wonderful date , we chated for ages with lots of good signals we went on to have dinner... After the date was over i walked her over to her car and said now we have met would you lke to go on a proper date!! assuming she thought we was meeting as friends! She replayed " oh was that not a date then?" basically saying that was a date which was a response i
I was very happy with. She went on to say " I have had a great time tonight" she got into her car sand told me to text or we will see each other at work. all very casual.!

I text her later that evening to say how i enjoyed the company and a few spercifics about her that i found attractive. and how easy i found it to talk too her!

She replied with "Aw thanks, yer i had a lovely evening thanks for dinner :) Sorry if i was tired today!!! x
I text her this morning but as of yet ( 6 hours on) no response which has not happend yet!

My questions are,

1) My friend said when you hear "I had a lovely evening" it means they are not interested as they do not go into specifics??

2) do i take the lack of response as a leave me alone vibe?

Thanks and sorry for long post ...

Louis

We haven't spoken but I want to see if everything is OK between us?

Gideon — Mon, 14 May 2012 16:03:14 GMT

There's a girl I've been friends with for awhile but we became friends while we used to work together, but we never hung out after work, we did flirt with each other so there was interest. Until about a few months ago we hadn't spoken in a while since I didn't work at that old job anymore, plus she changed phones so I didn't have her number. After not seeing her for a while I asked for her number and she gave it to me and since then we've been texting here and there slowly going from once every few days to every other day. She's very busy though because of work and school so for a few days when I would text her she wouldn't respond nor get back to me so I would text her after a few days and she'd respond, we'd talk for a while like an hour and a half to two hours and she'd initiate flirty comments and we'd have a good conversation. So going a few days without talking with her isn't abnormal since we both do have lives to live and we're not together. We both know we like each other and yes she'd go out to eat and hang with me if she was available because she said so. But about a week went by while I tried to contact her but she didn't reply so I didn't think too much of it, I let eight days go by since last Friday and didn't text her since one I had things to do and two I wanted her to just do what she had to do. So Friday I text her asking how she's been but got no reply, didn't text Saturday, and now it's Sunday. I want to call her but I'm not sure, she's never texted me first but that's standard girl behavior, when she does reply we have regular "boy likes girl, girl likes guy" conversations. When ever I see her at her job were nice to each other, look at each other, we don't really talk since she's busy while at work but that's fine, professionalism is key in the work place. But because she doesn't text me first it leaves me to do it, some say if a girl doesn't get in contact with you nor reply's much she isn't interested but that doesn't seem like that's the case because of how things have been going before a week ago. I haven't done anything wrong but it just seems weird, some girls do get scared when guys show continued interest and many other things but it just seems dumb to not contact her to see if everything's OK. Because if there is a problem I don't wanna be the guy that just stops communication without checking. Miscommunication is the reason why many relationships don't work out or never even get started so I want to avoid such ignorance. Any girls think this is a good idea?

Feel dirty...

Florida_boy — Mon, 14 May 2012 05:07:42 GMT

I'm starting to feel a little bad. I keep ending up in sexual relationships with women that are in comitted relationships, and keep revisiting these relationships even though I know I shouldn't! It's been really bad with one that is really in love with her bf but I have feelings for and things get emotional every time we are together. I'm confused because on one hand I don't really want to stop but on the other I know it is wrong...

Why are these silly dating strategies so common?

Faye — Sun, 13 May 2012 22:52:22 GMT

Playing hard to get and other reverse psychology tricks such as provoking jealousy from the crush.

I see these links and articles that say "make your crush notice you by making him/her jealous".

Be a jerk,play hard to get, make him/her jealous.

I've noticed that it's really common (no exaggeration) because from experience, these guys were too obvious to the point where it insulted me. Then they literally admitted to it when they complained about it not working.
I think:"Well, geez it really backfired because you made your intentions too obvious.."

When couldn't win my crush over I just gave up without even considering trying to do any of these things. Even if I wanted to, I don't think it would have helped. He would see through it on top of being not interested in the first place and it would lower his opinion of me.

I actually had some feelings for this one guy until he blatantly tried to get me jealous. I didn't expect it from him, he seemed so mature and genuine; he probably still is but it offended me since he probably thinks I would be dumb enough to fall for it.

Do they actually work sometimes? Otherwise why are so many people trying them? Have people tried them on you or vice versa?

I don't know wht I'm doin in life lol

Tweety100 — Sun, 13 May 2012 20:20:25 GMT

Hi so this is my 1st time doing something like this so bare with me please. I guess I'll start with a back story of myself and my situation. I'm a semi-tomboyish 20 year old virgin (by choice) who has never kissed and has Never had a bf. not to sound concieted but ive been told that im pretty lol im also extremly confident. So i've been cool with this guy for a couple of years and about a half of a year ago I started catching feelings for him. He used to flirt with me a lot and i would of course flirt back. He is a big flirt, so I didn't think that he actually me. I must admit he made me think that he might have liked me sometimes, because he would say something really flirty and then he would blush really bad. He had me confused as you can see. Anyways, a couple of months pass and I was talkin to his now ex-best friend one da, And he randomly told me that this guy liked me. Naturally, I'm excited and I want ask him out in person. But I only see him at work and we were never alone. So I decided to text him. And he **DRUM ROLL PLEASE** turns me down **waw waw waaaaaaw* He turned me down very nicely at least. My pride was a little hurt and ill admit im not as confident. But for the most part i was ok. Fast forward to now, I no longer have those feeling for him but I was thinking about asking him something again that requires no commitment at all. As you know, I'm very inexperienced. I wanted to ask him if he is willing to fool around with me a little bit, I do not want to have sex though. I think he would be a good choice because he is a attractive guy who I'm not too close with but we arent completely platonic. I dont a relationship anymore, not at the moment anyways

So my questions are: should I ask him to fool around with me and if yes, tell me how. I tend to be a little too forward :/. Thanks sorry I wrote a novel everyone lol

An interesting challenge...

Zalech — Sun, 13 May 2012 14:48:35 GMT

So, does anyone have any tips on how to talk to an attractive female bartender? There's a bartender I've seen working a few times at this bar my friends and I like to go to, and she is just drop-dead gorgeous. I know a lot of female bartenders are, but this girl is pretty much exactly what I'd picture my dream girl to be like.....petite, dark hair, olive skin, great smile, great body, and she seems pretty down-to-earth as well. The question is, how to you create attraction with a girl that has guys drooling over her every night (and is trained to use that to sell beer anyway)? There's also the problem that it's a fairly busy bar and starting a conversation with her would be tricky. Any thoughts anybody has on how I might go about getting to know her would be appreciated.

Crazy exes?

lysistraata — Sun, 13 May 2012 11:00:25 GMT

I was thinking about the topic of "crazy exes" recently, (one of my friends just broke up with her boyfriend, and has a string of these) and I have a feeling that the reason a lot of people think their exes are "crazy" is because they aren't aware of the stresses their exes were under in the first place.

I'm not saying it's the fault of the "sane" one - it really is mostly on the other, who needs to learn to handle his/her emotions better and realize how much is "too much" - but at the same time, I feel that people can sometimes be insensitive to what's going on in each others' heads.

Thoughts on this?

She's Scaring me

Melon143 — Sun, 13 May 2012 04:31:51 GMT

If any of you have read my other questions you may remember I'm really good at getting into relationships with [u]very[u] clingy girls. Well my most recent one might end up being the worst. First off I just finished my freshman year at college and I have been in a relationship with a girl for less than two months. She lives a few hours away so I can't just see her anytime anymore. She keeps insetting that we're not in a relationship and says she's not ready for one but she does all the relationship kind off things like calling me when ever she's sad or happy or whatever and texting me whenever else. She called me yesterday and complained about how I never start the conversation and that I could care less if we talked or not, then she got serious and asked how I could want to be in a relationship then the a week later not want to talk to her. I didn't really want to answer the question but I figured I was given a good opportunity so I took the chance to break away from her. I said since she said she didn't want to be in a relationship I lost interest and wanted to find someone else who did instead (This was somewhat I lie). We talked for a while longer and thought I made myself clear and then she starts talking about me visiting her and she's want's me to call her tomorrow. I didn't call her today but she texted me at work it a busy day so I didn't relies she had then when I got home I looked I my phone she sent me eight messages. I text her saying I was working within a minute the phones ringing I pick it up and she talked at me for a few minutes then silence for a while then I said I was tired and was going to sleep she's says she's calling me tomorrow. Right now all I want to do is get away from her as quick as possible because she's starting to scare me. There's two problems though she told me a little while ago after her last boyfriend broke up with her she had to go on medication she was so depressed and that relationship was less then six months and it ended months ago and she's still on the medicine so I worried about her but at the same time I need to get out. The second problem I don't know what else I can say to get it through her head that I don't want to talk and what not with her last time a was a lot harsher then I meant to be and I say I didn't want to talk to her anymore and she still didn't get it.

How to meet a nice girl?

IX-MATT-XI — Fri, 11 May 2012 22:10:39 GMT

So after a hard break up, that took a very long time to get over I am open to a new relationship..However at the moment I am the only single one in my group of friends so when we go to clubs they are all trying to help me pull, this though is not what I really like doing, I just wanna find a nice, innocent girl that I can have proper relationship with. But how and where do I meet her? I'm 18 btw.

I'm Confused on This

Sunderwood — Fri, 11 May 2012 01:22:44 GMT

So hey,
This is my first thread so be gentle with me. I'm going out with this girl Jenay right now, i like her a lot like 94/100 so a bunch. Last night i'm talking to my friend emily and eventually she sends me the following:

THIS IS FROM JENAY TO EMILY:
Well so like, the first month was really great right? I was still like 'oh my gosh i'm dating sean! (thats me)' and whatever. but like, tis last week i was just hela busy with Cambodia and soccer and Lax and school work and my attempt at sleep and Sean like didng get that he's not my number one priority in my life. So he got mad and U hate when he does that cause its just an attention grab. I mean like part of me thinks he should be my number one priority, being my boyfriend and all, but also not cause that's unhealthy. Byt whatever, we are different than other couples! we were best friends before we started to date! So like I dunno how he wasn't to change that, cause we do spend time together but like i think he's looking for PDA which I hate. But like... ahh the biggest thing is that this week i realized i thin that im not like, as sexually attracted to him as i chould be. Like and that kills me cause he always calls me beautiful and stuff but like all i wanna do with him is make out but he's expecting more. But like, yeat thast so bad if i don't find him sexually attractive cause thats part of a relationship!

THIS IS ME AGAIN
So i'm kinda confused, a little hurt, and really looking to fix this. Ideas? break it down? I know i should back off probably.